Dream from Aug 10, 2015
I’m in theater dressing room getting ready for my very last dance performance. I’ll be dancing with three other younger girls (maybe in their teens). I speak to one of them. I tell her how excited I am to dance this last dance. In so many words, I express how I’m just going to have fun. I won’t focus on perfection or performance or whether or not I’m smiling because I’ll just let my joy flow.
The girl is serious-faced; she thinks I’m crazy. Usually when we perform, we’re focused on perfection. We force big smiles on our faces to please our critics and judges. Joy isn’t a part of the equation.
Now I’m backstage in the wings waiting to go on. I see Donna Dellaria, my dance instructor. Knowing it’s my very last dance, we embrace warmly and joyfully.
“This is the LAST time I dance with you, like THIS anyway.” I think I’m talking about how my disability will not allow me to dance any longer, at this level, after this night.
Immediately, what comes to me is this—my dream has to do with me having a shorter life than most and possibly dying relatively sooner rather than later. I’m about to “dance” my last dance.
Yes, it is very sad. Of course it’s something I’ve contemplated for several years now—dying young—as health circumstances have forced me to. I’m certain many of you have, too. I’m sorry for any pain this has caused you; but it tells me of your generous love and concern for me. So, with tears in my eyes, I thank all you so much.
Perhaps, having this dream is one way the Lord is counseling me . . . readying me for my eternal future in the afterlife. It is a good thing, though sorrowful, too. I find the message in the dream also enlightens me that I have viable choices NOW that will affect my “quality of life” today and every day on this earth.
I can opt to focus on “perfection” and performing for others’ acceptance and positive critiques, as I live my remaining days, months and/or years. Or I can leave all that nonsense behind and just be supremely joyful, thankful and embrace what time I have left.
This song came to mind. I hope you listen to it. It’s beautiful and fits perfectly!
Click link: “I Hope You Dance” by Lee Ann Womak